Guest post by Summer, daughter of foster parents Denise and Pierre. Summer will be entering her junior year of high school at the Academy of Arts & Minds in Coconut Grove, FL. She majors in creative writing but also loves to draw. She has chosen to stay with her foster family as she enters adulthood.
Today is a day, just like yesterday was, just like tomorrow will be. For some the days are filled with joy and laughter, for others sorrow and pain. Every day someone dies, while another is born into the world. One man may be a CEO, while another is his over-worked employee. Day in and day out, people thrive, no matter what their circumstance of living is.
My life – the life that seemed impossible of escaping, was among certain circumstances that made it seem as if I was alone. I believed that I was weak and that I was nothing. I thought that if I just closed my eyes and wished it away everything would vanish. Fact is I spent every waking hour trying to earn the praise of people who were not well enough to give it, that is until the day I awoke to a new reality.
I don’t ever think I will part with the raw emotion that evoked me that day I was placed into foster care. I was confused and in utter denial. I hated the people who were saving me because I had gotten so used to the way I was living. I blamed them and hated them.
I knew what was happening and why it was happening. However, I couldn’t accept what I had been given. How was I supposed to accept that there were people out there who genuinely cared about me?
The moment I arrived at my original (and current) placement I forced myself into thinking I was on a vacation of some sort. I protectively avoided associating myself with my foster parents and spent hours on the computer. I did this for months until I felt comfortable enough to reveal my secrets.
The purpose of this article is not to explain my past, but to hopefully relate to you, as the reader. In this labyrinth of a world we live in it is important to know that you are not alone in your endeavors. It is true that no one will ever go through what you did but there will always be people who have gone through similar things.
I whole-heartedly believe that my journey in foster care has been one that has and will continue to change my life. There is not a day that has gone by that has made me wish to not be where I am today. At some points it has been difficult, however, I find myself able to continue to live, and to breath- all under this new light.
If I were to describe the process of emotion I went through during the separation of my family and me, I would compare it to a storm. When the storm begins it is angry at the world below it, much like I was. The winds and rain continue to hold out for some time before eventually calming, and when they do you are left with a new horizon. A horizon much clearer.